Don’t you know it’s going too fast,
Racing so hard you know it won’t last,
Don’t you know, what can’t you see,
Slow it down, read the sign, so you know just where you are going.
Stop right now
Thank you very much,
I need somebody with the human touch,
Hey you, always on the run,
Gotta slow down baby, got have some fun. –Spice Girls, “Stop”
If you know (or just listened to) this song , it’s probably stuck in your head now, but I couldn’t help but to think of it while creating this article. The social aspect of the college experience may give you a lot of opportunities to either spend a lot of time mingling or spend a lot of exclusive time with that “special someone”. Whatever you’re doing, and wherever you are in terms of romantic relationships this Valentine’s season (single, taken, just starting out, ect.), take it from the Spice Girls and stop for a minute, slow down, and think about yourself and your attitude towards the relationship at hand. Here are some reasons to decelerate things a bit in these matters:
For yourself. Most college students are figuring out who they are and who they want to be, and perhaps you are too. Know thyself before intimately knowing someone else. Figure out what your goals, values, and desires in life are before bringing another person into the mix. And make sure your baiting and dating won’t distract you too much from your school work.
For protection. Surely you know haste can make mistakes, and that can apply in forming new relationships as well. Don’t assume too much of the other person or dive right into serious matters early on, or else someone will be driven away and leave a broken heart. Get out of situations that make you feel uncomfortable or avoid them altogether. The right person will respect your boundaries.
For the sake of time. Don’t make it a high priority and goal to marry around your graduation time! Make the most of the few years you have in the unique social environment that college is. There’s too much to do to be tied down with someone so quickly. Focus on forming friendly connections before a romantic connection.
For your future. If marriage is seriously a thought for your future, then take your dating relationships seriously. Get to know the other person like a best friend. Get to understand their thoughts and feelings, learn about their values and life goals. If there is common ground or room for compromise, then you’re on the right track for better and for worse.
More dating advice to come soon!